


There's No Index For You

by STARSdidathing



Series: AU’s I (Really) Didn’t Need [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asgardian Tony Stark, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Libraries, Light Angst, Loki Feels, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Prompt Fic, Romance, Unrequited Love, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-04 08:06:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5326820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki has fallen in love with the only other Aesir who uses the Royal Library with him. This Aesir has been sneaking in for ten years and Loki has been watching him the entire time. Invisibly, of course. He never planned to reveal himself, worried the man wouldn't want to be seen with the Second Prince, but despite his attempts at concealment, fate had a way of making other plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's No Index For You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So there was a list on tumblr that a friend reblogged and it was a series of AU ideas. I think there's like 30 in total? And I loved all of them so much my brain told me " _you should write all of those_ " and there wasn't even a token protest. I just started. Soooo this is the first in that series where I hope to write _every single prompt on that list_. Wish me luck.
> 
>    
>  **Prompt for this fic:** _you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au_
> 
> This prompt went through three beginnings all set in the modern world; most of them were alright but they didn't make me fall in love. Then I thought about making it set in Asgard and well, I just couldn't resist. So, enjoy!

**_There's No Index For You_ **

Loki was studying an obscure magical text the first time he saw him. It was strange to see anyone else in the library, not only because few people had permission but because the Aesir so rarely searched for knowledge when they could be searching for blood. The sight was so odd in fact that Loki didn’t try to stop him. He breathed a spell of invisibility and watched the Aesir dart his eyes around nervously before ducking in amongst the shelves. Loki, too curious for his own good, quickly followed the man.

It became a routine.

The Aesir would come every few months and while trying to remain undetected he would find books on any and every subject and absorb them with fascination and glee. It was the look in the Aesir’s eyes when he got lost in whatever text he had grabbed - the way he would risk punishment just to learn something new - that had Loki protecting him with wards. Loki also took precautions after that first day to always know when the other would sneak into the library so that he could deflect the eyes of others. He kept himself hidden as well; he didn’t want to be the cause of the other’s retreat as he had quickly grown... _fond_ of the nameless Aesir. 

He was scruffy, not from poverty but from a restlessness that made him disregard the perfection of appearance. It was something that would have usually irritated Loki but on this Aesir it made the Trickster grin. He would even disregard his usual reading place when the Aesir showed up, that way he could perch nearby the other. He would chuckle silently when the other cursed, smirk when the man would insult the writers of the book and smile when he would look into the distance, eyes alight with ideas and passion.

Loki had never found someone he could connect with and while he doubted this Aesir would want to connect with _him_ \- the mischievous second Prince, the mage who was rumoured to like the company of his own gender - but Loki could at least create a sanctuary where he could read. The knowledge he would never know the other- that it was for the best that he didn’t - couldn’t stop Loki from wondering about the strange Aesir when he was alone in the library.

The other wore enough plating to be considered of the Warrior class and the fact that he could get so deep into the palace made Loki think he was either a guard or extremely good at stealth. Loki wasn’t sure which he preferred – someone who lived so close to him or someone who had wit and skill - but he was hesitant to try and discover the other’s identity. He was worried that with that information he would be unable to resist revealing himself. He feared more than anything that if he admitted what he’d been doing that the Aesir would think it a prank.

Loki didn’t want to lose this nameless Aesir. Loki, if he was being honest, _wanted_ this Aesir.

It was foolish and he knew it, desiring someone he’d never spoken to, an Aesir that had no royal blood and was a _man_ beyond that - but Loki still didn’t care. There was no other person on Asgard that displayed such interest for the wealth of text and knowledge inside the Royal Library. Loki had been smitten from the day the Aesir had picked up a book on magic and gazed at it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

Loki had needed to leave early that day before the itching under his skin overwhelmed any possible sense and caused him to reveal himself.

The silence between them had lasted a decade, uninterrupted and with Loki’s feelings for the other oblivious man growing with every visit.

He cherished the other’s companionship, no matter how unknowing. Loki would sometimes retreat to the library after a horrendous day with Thor or after an argument with his Father and sit in the spot the Aesir would choose. Some days he would be lucky and the other would come in and he could simple enjoy the peace of watching someone care for literature and find pleasure in learning new things. It helped calm his fury and minimise his crippling self-doubt, if only briefly.

It had been another one of those days where Thor had been granted something that should have rightfully been Loki’s and he was bitter and angry. He’d stormed into the library, not noticing the way his wards tingled until he stepped through the doorway. He quickly found his nameless Aesir frozen where he was reaching for a book, his eyes wide with fear and panic. Loki stilled as well, blinking rapidly and cursing himself for not paying attention.

The Aesir let go of the book he’d been starting to pull out and quickly dropped his feet fully back to the ground. He faced Loki and ducked his head. “Prince Loki,” he managed to get out, his voice barely travelling enough to reach Loki before he bowed.

He stayed where he was for a good minute, mostly because Loki was too surprised to acknowledge what the other had done. He simply took the Aesir in, his tousled brown locks and the way he’d removed some of his armour, making Loki calculate he’d been there for at least an hour. He usually discarded the plating the more he got immersed in his reading as they restricted his movement. Loki realised suddenly that the chance to talk to the other had finally presented itself and he took in a careful breath, wrapping the demeanour he presented to all but his Mother around him like a shield.

“Rise,” he told the other simply while striding across the room to stop a metre before him. He was standing again but still wouldn’t meet Loki’s eyes. “Your name?”

“Anthony Howardson,” he recited.

 _Anthony_. Loki finally knew what it was. “And what are you doing here?”

He hesitated for a long moment, a painful wince crossing his face before he finally raised his head. His beautiful brown eyes locked with Loki’s; determination was strong in them and Loki had to fight off a smile. “Reading, my Prince, as one does in a library.”

Loki’s mouth twitched, he couldn’t help it. “And you have permission to be here, of course?”

Anthony’s eyes darted slightly. “Not... as such.”

“I’m surprised you would be so blatant,” Loki admitted, he’d been expecting careful or even clumsy attempts at trying to worm his way out of punishment. “Why not lie?”

The smirk that the Aesir gave him was full of rough charm and self-deprecating honesty. Loki wanted to lick it away and draw the other into a kiss while he was at it. “Tell a falsehood to the Aesir who holds its action in his title? Why should I make my fate even worse? I admit I have been expecting to be caught for some time, my Prince.”

“Honesty in defeat,” Loki nodded thoughtfully. “How honourable.” Anthony snorted but then seemed to grimace when he realised what he’d done. Loki raised his eyebrows. “Oh, you disagree?”

“Erm,” Anthony mumbled.

“Come now, you have mocked my words, do stand and defend that action.”

“Wasn’t intended to mock,” Anthony hurried to say, not to appease him it seemed, he didn’t seem fearful, just wanted to be better understood. It was fascinating. “Well, not you. Just having 'honour in defeat'.”

“Ah, a true Aesir sentiment.”

“No,” he rebutted, “I’d rather be _dishonourable_ in survival.” Loki could hear no falsehood in the words and he even looked for it. The suggestion was so atypical from a Warrior that the surprise was great enough to show on his face. Loki could see the moment Anthony registered what he’d said and with it the amount of rage such a comment would normally incite from another Aesir. He was lucky in his audience however as Loki happened to agree with him. “Uh, what I erm, mean,” Anthony stuttered while trying to backtrack. “That’s not to say-”

“Enough,” Loki intoned, softer than usual despite Anthony not knowing the difference as he snapped his mouth shut. Loki observed him, his nerves obvious yet his stubborn resolve even more so. Had it been any other Loki would have mischievously teased or if he truly disliked them maliciously spread their words around until they were shunned by the greater populace - but he wouldn’t do that to Anthony. “Considering what many would say of me and my similar thoughts on those subjects, your concern at having me hear them is amusing. Why feel worry? I doubt you do not know of these opinions about me.”

Anthony paused, seeming to use a modicum of sense in choosing his reply. “A widespread report does not always hold truth.”

“Indeed it doesn’t,” Loki agreed, his eyes twinkling with pleasure. This peculiar Aesir was fast exceeding Loki’s expectations and despite not knowing he was achieving them, Loki still wanted to give him a reward. A reward which, he’d admit if only privately, would benefit him as well. “Yet you still need permission to be allowed here.”

Anthony smiled at him winningly and asked, “Any chance you could pretend I wasn’t here, my Prince?”

Loki briefly thought of all things he could suggest to allow the favour, but quickly dismissed them. He might abuse his stature on occasion but he would never do it for this. “No.” He saw Anthony’s face fall, disappointment and pained frustration flicking across his expression before Loki continued, “Instead, I grant you permission to use the library whenever you wish.”

Anthony’s eyes flew wide. “What? Really?” Astonishment filled his face as well as something not like yearning; but it was gone too quickly. Suspicion took its place and Loki’s hand twitched to smooth the scowl away. “Why would you do that?”

Loki was surprised but also curiously relieved. The first instinct had been suspicion, yes, but not of him, he wanted to know the _reasoning_ ; he wanted to know _why_. Yet Loki still hesitated on what to say, it took him a long moment before he decided on something as close to the truth as he could manage. “I would not refuse this place to those who truly wish to enjoy it.” He let his lips curl upwards slightly, interested but also keen to keep the conversation away from his motives. “And I wonder if it would have stopped you had I refused?”

“I doubt I would be able to escape your notice twice, Prince Loki,” Anthony told him, already beginning to grin again.

 _No_ , Loki thought but didn’t say, _I doubt I could ever look away_. Clearing his throat from a thought he couldn’t afford to stay pondering, Loki nodded at the books. “What interests do you hold, Anthony?”

When Anthony brightened and began to happily ramble, Loki felt like he had opened a door that would never close. He didn’t mind one bit; talking with Anthony was everything he’d hoped it would be for ten years. Anthony treated him like an equal, a friend - only occasionally pausing and startling to remember he was talking with the Prince. It took only a week for Loki to assure him that he did not need to call him anything but Loki and did not need to treat him as if he was the Prince as long as they were among the books. Anthony believed him.

Anthony believed him in many more things than even his brother did. It helped that Loki rarely lied to Anthony if he could avoid it. The only times he did was to save their growing friendship. He couldn’t admit that he stared too long because he wished to kiss the other. He couldn’t admit that he knew the book that Anthony was trying to remember because he had watched him read it in his years of silent and watchful invisibility. He couldn’t admit that he looked for Anthony outside of the Library and was both desperately hoping to run into him outside the walls they met in – and also worried. Anthony treated him like a friend, yes, but that was when they were alone with no prying eyes that might see him with the Prince and make allegations about _why_. He couldn’t bear to see Anthony behave as if they didn’t know each other, didn’t spend time together.

Of course, there was also the other option that Loki didn’t like to think about; the idea that Anthony might accept his friendship because he had plans to trade on it. The loose association of a Prince of Asgard had heavy weight, even more so if through spending time with Loki he could begin to be seen with Thor. Some had tried that when Loki was younger and more innocent; more desperate for true friends. He was bitter and sceptical of those who sought friendship with him now, even more so when men tried to bed him. He would not be unmanned and he would not be mocked.

Loki knew better than to take risks he wasn’t ready to accept the consequences of, so he kept their friendship restricted to the Library and on days when they could both meet. He’d hesitated at first to tell Anthony about the wards keeping him hidden, but when he discovered Anthony feared being found alone and only attended when he knew Loki would be present he had admitted it.

He’d been thrilled to find Anthony hadn’t dismissed his tricks but had _praised_ them, had been _interested_ in them and had run to find a book on wards to compare what ones Loki had used to others. They had spent a whole afternoon discussion magic and Anthony had kept up with him. Loki had wanted to kiss him. It wasn’t a foreign desire but he had actually leant forward, had actually _intended to do it_ before Anthony had turned a page and cut himself. He did it frequently and Loki had taken to teasing him for his ability to make paper dangerous, but he had been grateful for it on that occasion.

Anthony had cursed and stuck the finger in his mouth, his skin already healing it, but Loki’s heart had been pounding. He couldn’t afford to slip like that again; at best, Anthony would punch him and leave, at worse he would spread the story. The thoughts on his preference were all rumours at this junction, they were true but had no substance; he couldn’t let it become irrefutable knowledge about what and _who_ he desired. 

_He couldn’t._

Loki scowled at the book he’d been trying to focus on and shut it firmly. He glared at it for a long moment and thought idly about some of his favourite combusting spells. There was a reason he had fire in his title and it was his penchant for watching things burn. He wondered if he could persuade Anthony to join him for a trip to one of his favourite glades in the nearby forest. He could show him some more magic and bring the fire to life. His brother and the others had always enjoyed when he told stories with the flames. He could watch Anthony’s face in the firelight, draw out his smile and the laugh that brightened his eyes, he could-

Loki slammed a hand on the table to cut the thought off - to cut the _fantasy_ off before it could continue, before his mind could depict him pulling the Aesir close and undressing him under a make-believe sky, laying them down next to an envisioned fire in an impossible situation. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose; he needed to get control of himself.

“Difficult spell?” Loki startled and dropped his hand. He found the man he’d been imagining standing in front of the table with a twitching smirk. “Do you want some help, my Prince? Perhaps even a weaponsmith like myself might be of some use?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “I have told you to desist with formalities, Anthony.” He _needed_ him to stop or the dreams of Anthony tied to his bed crying out _My Prince_ would begin to come back again. “And should there be a spell that troubles me it would not be _you_ to whom I would bring the problem.”

Anthony pouted dramatically but pulled out the seat opposite Loki at the large wooden table. “Something is bothering you, Loki. It is not my place to pry, of course,” he grinned, “but pry I shall. You are more than capable of dodging my enquires should you truly wish to.” He placed his chin in his hand and his elbow on the table. He smiled with a hint of tease still lingering at the edges but genuine care in his eyes. “What bothers you, my Prince?”

He opened his mouth and could feel the confession on his tongue. He could see himself reaching forward and cupping the Aesir’s neck in the way Thor and the other Warriors did frequently. He would touch Anthony and the Aesir would look curious, he would urge him close and quickly move in, stealing his kiss gently and with his eyes closed. The touch would be soft and when he pulled back he would tell Anthony.

_I have watched you for years and I long for you. Your mind is more precious than Asgard’s vault and your beauty surpasses the finest jewels. I would take you as mine if you would let me. I would take you across the Nine and bed you on the softest fabrics and not let us leave my chambers until we were utterly spent and entwined. I would have you scream my name but beg me by title. I would kneel at your feet and gift you with every book you could ever want. I love you._

Loki would kiss him again and Anthony would... Anthony would jerk away with shock before sneering with disgust and rapidly leaving - or worse. Loki closed his eyes, sickened at the idea of Anthony playing along with his infatuation so he would not lose the Library or anger a Prince.

“Loki?” Blinking from his thoughts he found Anthony’s hand had dropped away, he was sitting up and looking worried. “You’ve paled. Should you be out of your chambers if you’re this unwell?”

“I am not unwell,” Loki snapped, a little harsher than usual but Anthony hardly blinked.

“You’ve lost yourself in thoughts three times and without a book taking your attention. I would say that is unusual enough for alarm, Loki.”

Loki’s lips thinned and his voice came out sharper and with an edge that had sent servants running for years. “It is nothing to concern you.”

It was his ‘Prince’ voice and he saw the way something shuttered in Anthony’s face as he stood. “Right, of course,” and because he would not be Anthony without it, a hint of sarcasm slipped inside, “sorry for _presuming_ , my Prince.”

Anthony turned on his heel, missing the way Loki’s mouth fell open, wanting to apologise, and his eyes filled with a longing to explain. Anthony didn’t let him; he stalked towards a nearby shelf, his armour clanking as he moved. When he reached his destination he started pulling the metal off with jerking motions until it was a pile on the floor. Loki watched the display, almost hoping Anthony would turn his way again but the Aesir refrained, yanking out a book and moving over to a different table. Loki could still see the other but it felt as far away as Jotunheim.

He tried to go back to the texts he’d been attempting to read before, but found his attention drawing back to Anthony as the hours crawled by. Anthony still had anger coiled around him but it was fading, lost in the pleasure of his research. Loki wanted to know what new idea had formed in his brilliant mind but knew he would be unwelcome if he interrupted him now - or rather, he would be if he did not apologise or allow Anthony to know what was troubling him.

It was too greater risk to explain, but to express regret at his tone? Loki could do that to regain his companionship.

Quietly getting up from his place, Loki made his way over to where he’d last seen the Aesir. He did not find him where he expected but rather two shelves over and cursing fluently as he leant up on the tips of his toes to try and grasp a book.

Loki knew numerous spells that could help the other; he could also announce his presence and offer to assist. There were multiple acceptable things he could do but Loki did none of them. Loki’s feet carried him over to Anthony and before he could stop himself he was beside the other. His tunic was close enough to press against Anthony’s shoulder and his leg was brushing the other’s; he was almost plastered to the smaller man’s side. His hand had moved of its own accord, reaching up until his palm was lightly covering Anthony’s, his fingers brushing the book the smaller man was trying to retrieve. 

He felt Anthony’s breathe hitch and he looked down, words he didn't know the context of dying on his tongue as Anthony glanced up at him through his eyelashes.

“Allow me,” Loki whispered, his voice deeper and softer; inviting and asking for something more than just a book.

Anthony’s face had been lightly dusted with embarrassment at needing the assistance but it flushed even darker now and Loki wanted to _own_ it. He wanted to feel the heat against his fingers and see the flush take over every inch of his skin. He wanted to press kisses against his neck, telling Anthony he had no need to feel shame and that Loki adored every inch of him and found his blush delightful in many filthy ways and far too many emotional ones.

“Allow me,” Loki asked again and this time it was for a completely different reason. His tone was darker, _wanting_ and unmistakable in what he asked.

Anthony’s eyes widened with understanding and Loki’s heart felt as if it was caught between two beats, hanging in the balance and waiting for Anthony’s words. It was hard to breathe, his stomach tangled and his mind already preparing ways to minimise the damage to his status that such a desire would bring. He was preparing to let go, to stand back gracefully and flee the moment he knew would end in nothing else but him standing alone once more - but Anthony surprised him.

“My Prince,” Anthony told him, a very cautious smile quirking one-side of his mouth, “you have always been welcome.”

Loki could hardly comprehend the meaning before Anthony was on his toes once again but this time he was pressed against Loki and his goal was a mouth that he _could_ reach and one that was eager to accept him. Loki dropped his hand from the text and down to Anthony’s neck while the smaller Aesir curled an arm around his waist, the other carefully sliding into his hair. Anthony hummed against his mouth and slowly the kiss deepened. It wasn’t rushed nor was it a fervent race to reach one thing. It was full of a curiosity to learn one another and an affection that inspired them to take their time. When they broke apart it was mutual and left them both with very small smiles.

Rubbing a thumb under Anthony’s cheekbone, Loki asked, “You desire this with me?”

Widening his eyes comically, Anthony asked, “Oh my. Was I not painstakingly obvious?”

“Before this?” Loki asked, giving the joking remark the severity it and the moment deserved, even if he relaxed mildly at the tease. “I had not thought you so inclined.”

“Nor I you,” Anthony admitted, making Loki’s eyebrows rise. Anthony shook his head ruefully. “You are a rumour, Loki. No one knows what to believe as you’re very often either an illusion or a lie. How could I know what you wished of me? A friend? A lover? An amusement? I took what I could; a library and a companion with a mind so sharp I could enjoy it every time I bled.” He waggled his eyebrows. “And he was so very beautiful too. I enjoyed that just as much.”

Loki’s lips twitched, but his heart was blazing and he pulled Anthony closer. “How very bold.”

“I can be even bolder,” Anthony’s grin turned full of promise, his eyes going half-lidded and his words like liquid lust running down Loki’s spine as he requested, “Show me your chambers, my Prince.”

Loki swallowed thickly and his fingers twitched with the urge to teleport them. “Is that all you want from me? A place in my bed?”

Anthony tilted his head, calculation briefly pushing aside his desire. “No,” he admitted truthfully and Loki was listening very closely to be certain of that. Anthony’s eyes shifted awkwardly. “It may have been an interest of mine for a number of years.” Loki’s eyebrows jumped upwards with surprise but Anthony was focused on his chest and therefore didn’t see it. “But sex I can enjoy and discard. You?” Anthony finally met his gaze again; that beautiful chocolate was nothing but warmth. “I don’t ever want to find myself losing you.”

“You offer yourself to a Prince of Asgard very carelessly,” Loki whispered, trying to keep his breathing steady and not let show how much Anthony’s words made him want to laugh his joy or bind the other to his bed. It was too soon for Anthony to be in love, but oh, how this gave him hope he would yet see it.

Anthony shrugged, carefree and unconcerned. “It’s alright. I trust this Prince to look after me.”

Loki wasn’t able to keep his face clear at hearing that and his voice cracked when he spoke, “He is a _liar_.”

Anthony’s fingers moved, running through the short strands of hair he hadn’t moved away from. The gesture was soothing and Loki was searching desperately but he couldn’t see a single untruth in the other Aesir’s face. “But he’s other things too.”

The sound Loki made was almost a whine and he kissed Anthony again. It was almost painful the feeling in his chest but Loki loved it too much to stop, and he teleported Anthony to his room without ending their embrace. When he pulled back he looked into Anthony’s eyes one more time. “What other things is he?”

“Well,” Anthony kissed Loki’s jaw, “that could take a long time.”

“I have time,” Loki assured him, _promised_ him.

Anthony blinked but then he laughed, the sound was wonderful and light-hearted and Loki needed to hear it fill his chambers for as long as he lived. “How egotistical my Prince is,” Loki shot him a brief glare but Anthony just ran his fingers down Loki’s cheek soothingly. “But that’s what he is, my Prince and my friend; a Mage and a Trickster, a liar and a scholar. He is brilliant and smart and,” Anthony kissed him briefly, “with any luck, he will soon be my lover.”

“We are Gods,” Loki smirked to keep himself breaking apart at the other’s words of love - because they were just that, whether the Aesir knew it or not, “we do not need luck.”

“I’m sure it can’t hurt!” Anthony attempted to insist, but Loki was pushing him towards his bed, his fingers working on unlacing Anthony’s tunic and his mouth moving to suck gently on Anthony’s jaw. It quickly helped the other lose his ability to talk. He felt a soft hand pressing his mouth firmer against the other’s skin. “I am glad you found me,” Anthony murmured, “I’m glad I got caught.”

 _So am I_ , Loki silently replied before kissing Anthony again. 

It had taken him ten years to fall for Anthony, if it took twice as long to have Anthony discover those feelings in return than Loki was content. But against all odds, all cynicism and suspicions, Loki had to wonder if it hadn't already happened; if the soft, worshiping touches and the burning look in Anthony’s eyes didn’t say everything in itself.

_Love._

Perhaps luck wouldn’t hurt; perhaps luck had instead been kind and had given him the one man in all the realms who could match him; in mind, devotion and heart.

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out sooo much fluffier than anticipated and it really, really ran away from the prompt, whoops. Nevertheless, I hope you all like it! (And I have a thing for Asgardian!Tony, shhh.)


End file.
